Color Blinds and Relationships
Peace World!
Aight (pronounced Ay-ite, means “All Right” in ebonics/slang for those who don’t know and don’t know how I write)
Well that took up a line, but oh well…
Aight…so I’m walking into work and pass by a woman. She’s attractive. She’s Caucasian. I greet her, she greets me, we keep it moving. So I’m talking with a co-worker (who’s African-American) I know and asking does she know her, and she says “who?” . I describe her, and when she walks by again, I pointed her out to her. Her comment was “too many of y’all brothers getting caught up in them white girls.”
Word?
Now, we had our comments, another co-worker joined in the convo, made her comments as well. Phrases like “I don’t discriminate against other men because of color” and “strong black woman” are in the convo. We talk about how Black and White males differ in their preference towards a female mate.
Where I disagree, is this: our species is human. Our color is supposed to differentiate us in terms of what region our ancestry is from and possibly where we were currently born. It is NOT what defines us as what type of a human we are in regards to our character. For me, I’m bi-racial. Caucasian and African-American. A human above all, and I respect women regardless of what color their skin is. What makes me shake my head is the common answer I hear when this question is asked in regards to the majority of Black women in America: if Black women are to be viewed as strong (and to take it a step further, possibly stating stronger than other races), why is it they straighten their hair to look more White?
Guess Loreal loves photoshop just as much as the models do
Think about it.
How can one in the same sentence say they are a strong BLACK woman, BLACK meaning they are connecting to their original African features such as “nappy hair“, but will do anything to straighten it, such as using harmful chemicals like sodium hydroxide found in some of your relaxer lotions/creams, and using flat irons, all in the essence of allowing your hair to look more White? White being of Caucasian/European descent. Now, I know, if you comb and brush your hair everyday, and wash it, it’s not hard to maintain. So something that might take you an extra half an hour to do everyday could be a simple solution for maintaining your hair as opposed to burning it to straighten it (which is what those relaxer creams and lotions do).
Now another question comes to mind: why are Black women doing this to themselves?
One answer I can give, is being a product of your environments. One key environment; your modern day workplace.
How many of you have had to shave your head or get it trimmed and lined up (whether asked to or voluntarily done) all because it was or may be viewed as an “extreme hairstyle” for the workplace? Afros. Cornrows. Dreadlocks/Dreadlocs. Braids. All for a person of brown pigment, can be considered “cultural hairstyles” found throughout their history. But because one or more races view it as an “extreme hairstyle” or may have a personal discrepancy with it, are we subconsciously telling ourselves it’s not cool to have a hairstyle that DIRECTLY reflects our SKIN COLOR? From the burbs to the hood, we’ve seen younger kids and older folk get on each other for having a “nappy head” and, for the most part not even question it. You look at some of our role models, our athletes, our public figures, our bosses, our family members, all wearing an image they feel they need in order to SUCCEED and BLEND in with society.
If I am ever fortunate to be blessed with a daughter, half of these magazine covers and TV ads on a daily basis are constantly telling her what the “popular beauty” is, which would be a slim a figure, straight hair, all white teeth, form fitting clothes and contacts…for the most part. Maybe even hair that’s not hers (weaves, wigs, whatever you want to call them, it’s not yours). So if I’m a parent, who was once a kid like her, how am I supposed to talk to her on what beauty is? Are those magazines and TV ads lying for a commercial gain, possibly even social and psychological control?
Sounds like some sci-fi stuff. But when you really look at it from outside of your own personal box, how fictitious is it?
All of that to say this: why would your average Black man in America bust his ass to get with a Black woman (who a lot of times have their own personal and societal views and stereotypes of black men already, such as having no jobs, pimps and gangsters, unreliable fathers, and lazy) who is trying to look like another race, because she views the attributes of her natural ancestry to be unattractive, when he can easily be with the race they are trying to portray?
And this applies to White women as well, because there is the image now that White women have to have a more fuller and curvaceous body (focus on the booty and hips), fuller lips, curlier hair, and a TAN. So, you have white men who are looking for a more “exotic” (as some put it) mate for them to settle with, because your natural European features are not “attractive” to them in their eyes.
So you basically have both races trying to be like one another because they view the other race as more physically attractive then themselves.
Yea…that makes reaaaaaal sense. *insert sarcasm here*
So in actuality, as your average Joe…wait a minute, we’re gonna change that too, just so others can relate to this as well and not feel left out. You’ll see what I mean…
So, in actuality, as your average Joe/Jamal (get it?), it seems a little too much to ask of a woman to just be her natural looking self (because lets face it, untainted beauty is above all the highest beauty one can obtain), when you have all these companies telling her how I, THE MAN , should see her as beautiful. So I guess we’re all, men and women, getting duped into what beauty is supposed to be in society…but why?
Food for thought. Bon appetite!
- Das